| Okay, okay, I'll admit it--people irritate me sometimes. People who cut me off, who ignore me, who act as if they are Emperor of the Earth--or at least Nabob of the Neighborhood, Potentate of the Bus, or Supreme Leader of the Sidewalk. I have begun fantasizing about handing out tickets to the malefactors (making me head of the Etiquette Police, I suppose!) I also fantasize that these would actually change people's behavior. If you live or work in a city, I hope some of these will ring a bell. If not, you can probably create some of your own. | "...people irritate me sometimes." |
| Walk on the Right Hand Side Ticket | The Walk on the Right Hand Side Ticket
* Useful for hallways, sidewalks, and particularly crosswalks Greetings! In America, we have a great custom called "walking on the right." If you always walk on the right hand side wherever you go, you will be surprised at how much smoother the traffic flow is! Another Useful Suggestion from the Etiquette Police. Have a Great Day! (You can imagine this on the bottom of each ticket.) |
| The Jaywalking Ticket
* This is not so much a peeve as a worry, and consists of two simple questions to be handed to the person either crossing in the middle of the block, or against the light. Where are you going that's so important that you're willing to risk your life to get there? Where are you going that's so important you're willing to break the law to get there? |
The Jaywalking Ticket |
| The Matching Traffic Speed Ticket | The Matching Traffic Speed Ticket
* Useful for walkers coming out of stores, as well as for vehicular traffic. Hi there! Here's a great suggestion. When you join the main traffic flow, try to match its speed. Besides protecting you from someone not able to slow down quickly enough, it will also make the traffic flow amazingly smoother. |
| The Extra Bus Seats Ticket
* This one would get used every day! Greetings! While we appreciate your willingness to pay for an extra bus seat for your (fill in the blank: purse, backpack, packages, umbrella, stroller, you name it!), we really need the room for other passengers at the present time. Thanks for sharing and for making everybody's ride more comfortable! The Aisle Seat Ticket * Another one to use on the bus. Hi! Aisle seats are great, aren't they! However, you probably never noticed that when you sit on the aisle, people may be reluctant to ask for the window seat beside you. For those timid souls, we ask that you take an aisle seat where the window seat is already occupied. Thanks for making their lives so much easier! The All Purpose "You Paid for a Single Seat" Ticket * Yet another bus ticket. Greetings! Thanks for remembering you paid for only one seat, not a seat and a half (or two). Those getting pushed out into the aisle, or smashed into the window appreciate your willingness to sit only in your half of the double seats. |
3 Bus Tickets |
| The Too Willing to Share Ticket | The Too Willing to Share Ticket
* Suitable for elevators, cashier lines, or buses Greetings! A gentle reminder that not everyone around you cares that (Aunt Myrtle had her gallbladder removed, your husband/boyfriend treats you like a dog, your boss is a jerk, etc.) Thanks for keeping the information between you and your friend. After all, your boss's secretary may be (in the next line! in the back of the elevator! in the front of the bus!) |
| The You Shared When you Shouldn't Ticket
* For when you hear comments about yourself or others at the office water cooler. Greetings! Thank you for your frank appraisal of X's (personality, work habits, appearance). However, you may want to take into consideration how far voices travel in an office, and remember that X is not deaf, nor are his/her friends. You wouldn't want the next frank appraisal at the water cooler to be you! |
The You Shared When you Shouldn't Ticket |
| The Excuse Me Ticket | The Excuse Me Ticket
* For the next time someone runs over you in a store, knocks you aside on the sidewalk, or flattens you as you try to get on an elevator Here's a special hint for you from the Etiquette Police. Excuse me does not mean "Move it or you will get run over--I'm coming through!" It means, "I need to get through, please. Would you mind moving?" You will be amazed at the positive response you get using this technique! |
| I hope some of these struck a cord with you. You may find it humorous to create some of your own tickets--it's more constructive than blowing your top! Happy holidays, and may you not meet anyone needing an etiquette ticket this season. | Construct Your Own Tickets |
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