Adjectives and Alliteration in Character Description

"He was still the shabby drooping man, who thickened unexpectedly at the stomach, and his grey sharpened face was still sad and introspective in the shadow of his soft black hat." (p.1) The above description of the Scotland Yard detective Stanislaus Oates contains some of the characteristic Allingham touches. First she often uses two words in her descriptions. "Shabby drooping" (there are never commas between) are simply two adjectives. "Thickened unexpectedly" are an adjective/adverb pair. "Sad and introspective" are again two adjectives, connected this time by a conjunction. This paragraph also shows her use of alliteration. Notice how many "s" sounds there are in the paragraph: still, shabby, stomach, sharpened, sad, introspective, shadow, soft. Stanislaus is a calm, slow man, and the "s" words help describe him.

"His progress was like the serene sailing of a big river fish from whose path experienced small fry consider it prudent to scatter." (p.2) The above demonstrates her gift of striking metaphors. She is talking about Stanislaus again, so his progress is serene. The small fry are the petty crooks who recognize him and get out of the way.

Striking Metaphors in Character Description

Describing Albert Campion, the main character

"He was a tall man in the forties, over thin, with hair once fair and now bleached almost white. His clothes were good enough to be unnoticeable and behind unusually large horn-rimmed spectacles his face, despite its maturity, still possessed much of that odd quality of anonymity which had been so remarked upon in his youth. He had the valuable gift of appearing an elegant shadow and was, as a great policeman had once said so enviously, a man of whom at first sight no one could ever be afraid." (p.2) This paragraph is a description of the hero, Albert Campion. Notice the vagueness of the portrayal. Campion could be almost anyone. This is deliberate. His strongest characteristic is the ability to melt into the background. This is practically all we learn about the man all through the dozen or so stories he appears in. He remains a shadow: well off, intelligent, perceptive, but vague.

"Her small squat form was arrayed in an assortment of garments of varying length, and as she sat with her knees crossed she revealed a swag of multi-coloured hems festooned across a concertina'd stocking. At that distance her shoe appeared to be stuffed with grass. Wisps of it sprouted from every aperture, including one at the toe. It was warm in the sun but she wore across her shoulders something which might once have been a fur, and although her face was hidden Campion could see elf-locks peeping out from under the yellowing folds of an ancient motoring veil of the button-on-top variety. Since she wore it over a roughly torn square of cardboard placed flat on her head the effect was eccentric and even pathetic, in the way that little girls in fancy dress are sometimes so." (p.5) Here is one of Margery Allingham's eccentric characters. She fills her stories with them, perhaps as a contrast to Campion. Notice here where she uses specifics to bring Jessica into sharp relief: "swag of multi-coloured hems festooned across a concertina'd stocking", the shoe stuffed with grass, the cardboard covered with a motoring veil. If you close your eyes, you can see this woman. Notice the last line, which is not only descriptive, but gently warns the reader that this woman is not what she chooses to appear. She is playacting.

Using Character Description to show character

Using Character Description to foreshadow action

"The Captain proved to be a soldierly figure, primly dressed in a fashion forty years old. Even at that distance there was something very good and very quiet about him, something extremely old school. He was approaching sixty, a slender Edwardian drying into old age very gently. Hair and tiny moustache were cut so short that their colour was indeterminate, neither fair nor grey. Campion could not hear his voice but guessed it was pleasant in accent and depreciatory in tone. He also guessed that his hands were mottled on the back like the skin of a frog, and that the chances were he wore a discreet signet ring and carried visiting cards." (p.26-27) The above shows her skill in using description to foreshadow a character, much like the playacting hint of the paragraph before. The line "hair and tiny moustache were cut so short that their colour was indeterminate..." lets you know this is a colorless mouse of a man. He is a depreciatory character, "drying into old age," and who later will retreat from unpleasantness into a bottle of whiskey. This is a man who can't face modern life, and simply tries to keep out of the way.

"An ancient voice from the doorway was followed by a deep satisfactory sniff as a little old woman in a bright pink overall came shambling in. She had a high colour, vivid sky-blue eyes which despite a certain rheumy mistiness possessed a definite twinkle, and a thinly covered little poll bound with a snood of pink ribbon. She paused in the doorway, breathing heavily, regarding Campion with interest." (p.34) This is an example of the contrast descriptions you often find in Allingham's stories. Notice "old woman" contrasted with "bright pink overalls", the old age contrasted with brightness and life. Not only is there contrast within this paragraph, but the contrast of Mrs. Love's character to the captain's could hardly be stronger. Allingham loved strong older women who knew their own minds. They appear often in her stories.

Using Character Description to provide contrast

"Margery Allingham was a master of character description"

Margery Allingham was a master of character description. Her tools were: well-chosen, well-used descriptive words, alliteration, metaphors, suiting the description to the character, using description as a foreshadowing, and contrast. Adding some of her skills to your writer's tool box will help liven up descriptions in your own work.

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